Be prepared for the day
when everyone thinks for himself
No one to help defend
Each person becomes his own defense lawyer
All the witnesses whether good or bad
are his own parts of the body
At that moment his mouth is locked
Eyes, hands, and feet will reveal their stories
Nothing will be left untouched
Nothing will be hidden
Everything will be exposed even a single speck of dust
Time spent in this world
All actions, words and heart feelings are recorded
All notes taken will be filed
During the court session in front of Rabbul Jalil, all will be revealed
All of our work that we have forgotten will be remembered again
Everything will be screened on God’s tv in front of us
Where can we run to?
There is no where to hide
Everyone will look through their good and bad deeds
After that Allah Taala the Fairest Judge will make His decision
Some go to Paradise some go to Hell
Everyone will be satisfied, including the ones who are imprisoned in Hell



O Allah, O my Lord
Please make the tears that I shed while I’m in fear of You
Be the extinguisher for the flames of Your Hellfire
The tears that trickle on the ground
Be the one to relinquish me of all my sins
O Lord! if not for Your blessings
I will not be safe
At least, if not for Your forgiveness
I will not be free from the punishments
I’m helpless, please assist me
My nafs ( desires ) are wild
Please help me constantly to fight against my nafs
Satan is deceiving me as always
Please protect me against it
There are too many paths of evil
Some are obvious while some are inconspicuous
If not for Your guidance I will be lost along the way
Please guide me always
So that I will be free from harm during my journey to You



O Allah, You are the God who created me, Your servant

Your servant who is poor and vulnerable

The one who has desires or lust which is always tempting, the devil that is always deceiving

How could I clean myself from sins

How could I get away from being guilty

O Allah, I seek with Your grace

I ask with Your love

Please give me the strength to protect myself

From the temptations of lust and deception of Satan

If I commit any sin and offense

Please remind me to repent

That repentance of mine, please accept it O Allah

That is, every time I commit any sin

Please remind me again to repent

As time goes on, please continue to accept my repentance O God

Because those who repent are considered as innocent

Hopefully when I return to you

I am free of sins

Your wrath no longer exist

Please save me from Hell

I am weak, that I expect from you, O God

Please accept my petition Ya Rahim , Ya Rahman




10:00 pm






God is very kind , He does not punish the disobedience of His servants immediately

God leaves them alone first

God is giving them the chance to think, to be aware and to realize

By God making them see with their eyes various incidents

Incidents which are either positive or negative to make them aware and realize

Or God is punishing them slowly little by little

or punishing them occasionally so that they realize

After going through various lessons and yet they still do not realize

God will then take away suddenly all the pleasures and grace

Like a sudden death, prolonged paralysis , a heavy calamity

Chaos in the family , there is no love and care between them

Or God just leaves them without being punished

After they are dead, only then they will be punished severely

Punishment like a painful death, sufferings in the grave , sufferings in the Field of Mahsyar

the peak of all the sufferings is Hell

Do take note of this narration

While we are still alive, we still do have time to think and correct ourselves

The time is not yet too late

Do return soon to God

Do fear Allah and love Him

Do love and care for each other among people

What more among our own families

Once we are dead, the door to all opportunities for us to correct ourselves is closed

Do be aware and realize from now before it’s too late


Before Zuhur








Hereafter is the second nation for us to live in after this world

Over there is our eternal abode

Our comfort or hardship over there is set by how we live in this world

Be wary of living in this world so that we will not suffer and be in misery over there

There are only two places over there, Heaven and Hell

The righteous and taqwa people go to Heaven , the wicked and cruel go to Hell

Do look for our provisions with taqwa for our comfort and pleasure over there

Without taqwa, Hell will be the consequence, a horrible and agonizing place to stay

Be wary of living in this world which is temporary

Be devoted to Allah Taala and His creations

Do not be human beings who are so neglectful and like a pest

Later in the Hereafter we may not be able to bear the torment and misery

Love Allah and do fear Him , and do love His creatures

Do become someone who is devout and faithful to God

It is all right to deal with a little inconvenience which is temporary

For us to escape the troubles in Hereafter which is eternal

Let us redeem our short hardships in the Hereafter

With a little trouble , that does not last long

Let us regret earlier, a later regret is no longer useful

Let us perseveringly look for our provisions for the Hereafter

Before Asar

A Letter to Paradise

O Paradise,

I feel embarrassed every time I give my salutation at the end of my prayer. I feel embarrassed with my own self over my request to have you from Allah. And yet I really do know and I am aware that I do not deserve you at all. How could someone evil like me can enter you? How could a person like me who is still covered with sins and filth, be allowed to sit idly inside you. While my sins which are as high as a mountain, I am not certain when they will all be forgiven ! My repentance is still full of falsehood. Even though I have made efforts to repent over my false repentance…

O Jannatul Firdaus,

The news is that you will only accept people who have safeguarded and blessed hearts, while my heart is really full of rusted evil traits. Being resentful, laziness, self-centered, egoistic, arrogance, love for the world, fear of death, all these are still nesting within my heart. I am still unsure as to when I will be cured. I have fought against all of them but there are still some that remain.

O Paradise,

What other ways can I get to you? Surely, You are really waving towards the siddiqin, the syuhada and the muqarrobin for them to get inside you. Just look at me. My journey towards there, I feel that it seems to be so far away. I feel that it is beyond my reach. While Allah, Al Mighty God has prepared only two final destinations, Paradise or Hell. O no!

O Allah, please, I beg for Your blessings. As I know that, human beings are thrown into Hell because of Your justice and they enter Paradise because of Your blessings… Your blessings are what I ask for..

* The world is hard but Hell is extremely agonizing.
*The world is beautiful, but Paradise is extremely delightful.



When I look at the ocean
as far as the eyes can see
it is so vast and wide that I do not see the edge
the waves toss and twirl
the stormy waves roaring ceaselessly
slamming and twisting
it sounds terrifying and scary
inside, it is petrifying
in total darkness, certainly it is suffocating
my heart whispering softly
If hell is like this
its fire fiercely thrusting like tossing waves, billowing
the sound of the fire is like the noisy sound of the wind hitting the waves
the waves moving continuously without any pause
If it is fire from Hell devouring its inhabitants
without any let-up
that is enough to be quite agonizing
I am not able to bear this
what more the Hell Fire from God
who knows how much more horrifying it can be
the more that I am not able to bear the punishment

02-05-1997 after ‘Asar



I do not have any regrets that I do not become a rich and wealthy person
That is only a convenience in life, there is no assurance that I am protected from Hell
I do not feel sad for not achieving vast knowledge
That also will not reassure me a place in Paradise

I am not envious towards those who are popular
Whether they are leaders or popular film stars
All those will not ensure me happiness even in this world
Right here in this world we can see how they are simply forgotten when they are old

It is the same with ravishing luxuries in life
If I do get them, I will not refuse
If it turns out the other way, I will not be disappointed
All those will not guarantee me a good life in Hereafter

What I am fearful of is if I am unable to become a loyal and faithful servant of Allah
Not being able to emulate the life of the Prophet
Seeking the worldly things to the extent of being defiant
Forgetting the Hereafter, the eternal life

O God, please make me into a servant who is loyal and faithful
Please make the Prophet’s Sunnah my attire in this world
You are my Supreme love, please do not forget
Your acceptance and pleasure is what I am asking for when I am placed at Hereafter



Be fearful of blasphemy and idolatry or apostasy,
Because it is the peak or highest point of wickedness ,
All the three above will make a person remain permanently in the terrifying Hell,
The torment is unimaginable and cannot be described ,
Kufr or Shirk is not about disbelieving in the existence of God ,
Disbelievers also believe in the existence of God
There is disbelief and polytheism which are unnoticeable,
Because it is hard to detect
For example, when one is saying:
” If you follow God or Islam it will be hard to feed yourself ”
At this instance, there are two offenses :
Firstly, he is denying that with piety / taqwa there is guarantee from God
Secondly, he is having evil thoughts with God
There are other unnoticeable ways in which one can be in the state of disbelief
If you go to a religious school, it will be difficult to earn a living
If you go to a secular school, your life will be easier and comfortable
Or if you follow Islam, you will not be developed but you will be advanced if you follow the West
The fact is, he is doubtful with God or Islam ,
So unconsciously, he is considered as a munafik ( hypocrite ),
Even though he has memorized the Qur’an
or he is a devout Muslim scholar who is very knowledgeable in Islam,
Because he displays Islam while hiding his disbelief,
Despite his disbelief which is not associated with God’s Essence ,
Likewise, God says in the Holy Qur’an
” Whoever fears God, Allah will advocate for him and he has God’s assurance”,
But some will say in their heart,
“There was no help at all” ,
By right he should have said ,
” God never breaks His promise, but it is me who did not fulfill my promise
to God , and that’s why God ‘s promise was not granted.
It is not God’s oversight, I am the one at fault for not keeping my promise with God ”
To be an infidel or apostate in life is quite simple,
That is why the Prophet Muhammad SAW used to say at the end of time ,
For the Muslims who live at the end of time ,
Even though, as Muslims, they perform their morning prayers in an Islamic environment
During the evening, they had fallen out of Islam ,
As they have doubts in their heart unknowingly
But not because they doubted the Essence of God ,
But they doubted God’s promise ,
They thought it was not related to the faith in Islam ,
But it is an implicit belief / faith that is quite hard to understand .

2:10 pm


In Hereafter, God created Paradise and Hell
For the mortals who are alive initially in this world
Within each human there are two elements
There are good elements and there are bad elements
There are good seeds and there are bad seeds
For the good, there are paths leading to it and for the bad, there are paths leading to it as well
That is God’s fairness towards the mortals
Whoever succeed in enriching the good elements
They will experience the good path, Paradise will be their place
Whoever succeed in enriching their bad elements, Hell will be their place
Mortals can decide which elements they wish to enrich
Thus, there are many mortals who enrich their bad elements
Many of them are going to Hell
There are only so few of the mortals who enrich their good elements
Only a few of them are going to Paradise
It seems that to enrich the bad elements is a lot easier
Because there is no fight against your desires, there is no need for mujahadah
But to enrich the good elements, mujahadah ( fight against nafs ) is a must
Because of that, mortals find it difficult to do good deeds.

Before bedtime